The Third Option: Hope For a Racially Divided Nation by Miles McPherson ($12.99 for the Kindle edition on Amazon) is an extremely reasonable and thoughtful book concerning one of today’s most hotly debated issues. McPherson sees racial issues through the “lens of a black man.” He is a former NFL player and also the lead pastor of a large multi-ethnic congregation in San Diego. However, what I appreciate most about the book is the reasonable way McPherson tries to help everyone truly understand what it’s like to walk in the shoes of someone from a different race and culture. (Executive Presbyter Charles Ricks, an African-American leader in the Assemblies of God, and pastor of Bethel Church in Hampton, VA also recommends this book.)
What is the Third Option?
McPherson observes, “Culture plays a big role in perpetuating racism by wrongly insisting that there are only two options . . . us or them.” However, McPherson insists we must resist this kind of cultural win/lose mentality. McPherson says the answer (what he calls the “third option”) is to treat everyone with honor, regardless of race, liberal or conservative, whether or not we agree with their opinion, behavior, or lifestyle. “God’s Third Option invites us to honor that which we have in common, the presence of His image in every person we meet.”
What is Racism?
McPherson may raise a few eyebrows when he asserts, “Nearly every American has been a victim or a perpetrator of racism, and most have been both.” Why such a claim? McPherson rejects any simple definition of racism that hinges on a belief that one race is superior to another. Instead, he suggests racism can often be a sin of omission, “When . . . mistaken beliefs about other ethnicities . . . causes us to withhold His love from those God created us to love.”
In-Groups and Out-Groups
For me, one of the most enlightening portions of the book was the discussion of “in-groups” (people like me) and “out-groups” (people not like me). McPherson writes, “For those of us who have a healthy sense of self, we subconsciously assume that the ‘like me’ group is better than the ‘not like me’ group.”
Just as we often subconsciously give preferential treatment to members of our in-group, we tend to withhold it from our out-group. Generally speaking, we are less patient, are less trusting, and avoid building relationships with those in our out-groups.
According to McPherson, this “Out-group and in-group categorization lies at the heart of racism.” Therefore, he provides the following list of statements. Ask yourself how well the following statements resonate as true for you:
- I am more comfortable with those like me.
- I am more inclined to spend time socially with those like me.
- I am more patient with those like me.
- I give the benefit of the doubt quicker to those like me.
- I express more grace when mistakes are made by those like me.
- It is easier to communicate with those like me.
- I assume I will get along easier with those like me.
- I am more willing to go out of my way to help those like me.
- I possess more positive assumptions about those like me.
However, he offers an extremely practical way of combating this natural prejudice. He suggests we begin to intentionally treat people who are “not like us” the same way we treat people “like us.”
The next time you encounter someone from your racial out-group, take a moment to assess how much out-group discrimination you are inclined to express. Then purposefully apply your in-group bias toward them and see how it changes your ability to honor them . . . Learning to “convert” behaviors, words, and attitudes that others experience as racist is critical to learning how to love and honor them.
Blind Spots
McPherson observes, “We all have blind spots when it comes to race.” Sometimes such blind spots prompt a fear of “emotional or physical harm that keeps us from connecting with those who look different from us.” Therefore, he suggests the following acrostic for squarely addressing any fear of “others” who are not like us:
F– Face the Facts
E– Get Educated About the “Other”
A– Be Accountable to Affirm One Another
R– Build Relationships, Recognizing the Image of God in Everyone
Differences in Cultural Orientation
It was eye opening when McPherson explained that Northern European (white) culture tends to have an “individual” orientation while Black, Latino, and Asian cultures have a “group” or communal orientation. McPherson writes:
When someone from another group offends someone from our group, we all take it personally. We also tend to view the offender as a representative of their entire racial group . . . This . . . helps explain the community-wide protests against police violence toward Black men. In the Black community, when one person kills a Black person, we all feel the pain and attribute it to an action taken by one group against another.
A Highly Recommended Read
It is hard to imagine a more level-headed, thoughtful, and deliberative discussion of such a highly charged issue. I highly recommend it. However, the book is not meant to be a comfortable read. As McPherson wryly observes, “Walking in another’s shoes is never a comfortable experience, but it’s essential to understanding their perspective and learning how to honor them.”