The importance of “sharpening the saw”
Stephen Covey is in agreement with Robert Morris in the assertion we all have four “tanks” or dimensions of life that need regular renewal: spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional. In his classic book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Covey insists highly effective people are proactive in taking time for renewal. “ . . . to be effective, we need to recognize the importance of taking time regularly to sharpen the saw in all four ways.” [1] This final post will discuss three topics: mental renewal, emotional renewal, and what I would do differently if I could have a “do-over” of my sabbatical.
Mental renewal
Prior to sabbatical, my mind was weary from stress. As a life-long learner, I am an avid reader. I agree with Stephen Covey, “Education—continuing education, continually honing and expanding the mind—is vital mental renewal.” [2] During my sabbatical, resting and reading in a rocking chair on the cottage porch did double duty. First, I received physical rest, and second, I also experienced mental renewal. Robert Morris shares a similar perspective.
. . . one of the practices that refuels us most is to go to a quiet place where we can relax, read books, and sit on the porch in rocking chairs, acting like there is nothing in the world to worry about. Honestly, some of the best mental rest I receive is when I think about nothing. I spend time gazing into the distance and opening my mind to receive the thoughts of the Lord. [3]
During sabbatical, I did not read leadership or ministry “how-to” books. However, there were times the Holy Spirit would bring a specific book to mind. Whenever this happened, I took it as divine guidance as to the day’s reading for renewal and mental refreshment.
Emotional renewal
Prior to sabbatical, I was an emotional mess. Most of my ministry colleagues think of me as a calm, unflappable, even-tempered peace maker. However, my emotions were so fragile, I found myself weeping for no apparent reason. I would cry at meals while asking the blessing. I found myself in tears while talking to Carolyn about the goodness of God, and I could barely keep my composure while participating in the panel discussions during the Potomac Ministry Network regional ministry forums.
Don’t hide. Find a trusted confidante.
When we feel emotionally depleted, there is a temptation to hide from others. “Hiding looks like rest. It shields, protects, and covers. But unlike rest, hiding drains. It pulls apart and separates.” [4] Hiding and isolation is never the answer. Find a trusted confidante. The answer is found in “being real about your current state of affairs. It’s you telling your current truth.” [5] My wife, Carolyn, has always been a best friend, and has often given me encouragement, understanding, and candid, helpful insight. While on sabbatical, we were open, honest and vulnerable with each other – even though our emotions were fragile and a bit raw at times. However, the emotional catharsis of opening up to each other started us on the road toward emotional rest and recovery.
What is your love language?
When considering how to refill your emotional tank a helpful model is found in Gary Chapman’s best-selling book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. Chapman writes, “I am convinced that keeping the emotional love tank full is as important to a marriage as maintaining the proper oil level is to an automobile. Running your marriage on an empty ‘love tank’ may cost you even more than trying to drive your car without oil.” [6] Here are Chapman’s five love languages:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Receiving gifts
- Acts of service
- Physical touch [7]
Knowing your own love language, as well as that of your spouse, is essential to keeping each other’s emotional tanks full. “Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English.” [8] A big challenge is that we tend to express love in OUR own primary love language rather than that of our spouse. Therefore, the message is often lost because we are “. . . speaking what, to them, is a foreign language.” [9] Whether or not you have ever read Chapman’s book an easy free quiz to determine your love language is available on line at https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/.
Learning from mistakes
In the game of golf, friends sometimes bend the rules by giving a fellow player a “mulligan” – a chance for a free “do-over” of a particularly bad shot. When it comes to sabbaticals, I am still learning, still finding my way, and still making mistakes. Therefore, here are some things I would do differently if I could have a “do-over” of the sabbatical.
- I would be more considerate of my wife’s needs. I would work harder to make the time away good for her. While planning this sabbatical, I had quite a bit of “tunnel vision.” I assumed what was good for me would be just as good for Carolyn. This was a mistake. We are very different people with very different needs.
- I would rent a larger cottage. Carolyn and I agreed on the cottage we rented. The setting was scenic. It was well appointed. It was comfortable. The price was right. However, in retrospect, it was too small. The only way either of us could have solitude for personal quiet time was if one of us stayed in bed or left the cottage.
- I would include more “active rest.” The weather during this sabbatical was cold and uncooperative. However, I believe getting out for prayer walks and more “active rest” would be beneficial in a number of ways. Therefore, when it comes to planning any future sabbaticals, I would look for somewhere with a good place to walk.
- I would plan more “fun” outings. Covid-19 did a number on the local economy and closed most of the recreational attractions in the nearby community. This had no impact on refilling my spiritual tank through prayer, worship, and waiting on God. However, it put a big crimp in recreational fun time with Carolyn.
Final thoughts
My sabbatical was a much-needed gift of time. It was quiet. It was restful. It was good for both of us. God graciously and faithfully showed up every morning. I didn’t find all the clarity I was hoping for, but I will continue to wait on God and listen for His voice with expectancy. Bob Sorge writes,
Rarely are the benefits of sowing seen at the time . . . Authentic spiritual harvest is rarely instantaneous . . . Every moment you spend in the secret place is an investment. You are investing into eternal realities. . . . seeds are being planted in your heart that will bring forth a harvest in your own heart—if you continue to persevere in faith and love. So whatever you do, don’t quit! [10] (Emphasis added.)
I came home much more rested, encouraged, and full of anticipation. I’m not ready to quit. I’m ready to dig in and go deeper with God.
Bibliography
Chapman, Gary D. The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts.Moody Publishers. Chicago. 2010. Kindle edition.
Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. RosettaBooks, New York. 2009. Kindle edition.
Dalton-Smith, Dr. Saundra. Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity.FaithWords Publishing, New York. 2017. Kindle edition.
Morris, Robert. Take the Day Off: Receiving God’s Gift of Rest. FaithWords Publishing, Nashville. 2019. Kindle edition.
Sorge, Bob. Secrets of the Secret Place: Keys to Igniting Your Personal Time With God. Oasis House, Kansas City, MO. 2012. Kindle edition.
Footnotes
[1] Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (pp. 287-289). RosettaBooks. Kindle edition.
[2] Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (p. 295). RosettaBooks. Kindle edition.
[3] Morris, Robert. Take the Day Off (p. 156). FaithWords. Kindle edition.
[4] Dalton-Smith, Dr. Saundra. Sacred Rest (p. 61). FaithWords. Kindle edition.
[5] Dalton-Smith, Dr. Saundra. Sacred Rest (p. 61). FaithWords. Kindle edition.
[6] Chapman, Gary D. The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts (p. 23). Moody Publishers. Kindle edition.
[7] Chapman, Gary D. The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts (p. 123). Moody Publishers. Kindle edition.
[8] Chapman, Gary D. The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts (pp. 14-15). Moody Publishers. Kindle edition.
[9] Chapman, Gary D. The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts (pp. 15-17). Moody Publishers. Kindle edition.
[10] Sorge, Bob. Secrets of the Secret Place. (p. 25). Oasis House. Kindle edition.